Building Relationships that Resonate
As an author, I write about what I believe is one of the most significant things life offers: relationships. It could be a story about forgiveness and reconciliation between a father and a son as in The Glimpse, or love after loss as in The Desert Between Us, or how we unknowingly give each other Unintentional Gifts.
Perhaps one of life’s the most influential relationships is between grandparents and their grandchildren. There is something magical about it. A vibe that is indescribable.
Last week I met a friend for lunch. We packed brown-bag lunches, lawn chairs (not because we’re old, but because we love to eat outdoors), and sat under an oak tree at Petrifying Springs park. I asked Dave for his take on this relationship. Our conversation went something like this:
“Dave, you have twelve grandchildren. What is it about your relationship with them that makes it unique, almost ‘magical?’”
“I think grandkids, especially young grandkids, have an innate understanding that their grandparents are special.”
“Where does that come from?”
“I’m sure our kids nurture it in them. And then, of course, we spoil them—after all, that’s our job, right? But there’s something else. Our grandkids sense we have the capacity—and the willingness—to listen to them. Remember when we were young parents? We were so distracted by our careers and the complexities of life. As grandparents, we have the time—and take the time—to listen. This creates connection.”
“But, it’s more than that.”
“I agree. There is something more—and it’s related to listening.”
“And what’s that?”
“We climb into their world. And that can be their imagination—or where it lives—which is usually on the floor, where they play.”
~
I’ve been mulling over that conversation—and the two principles I derived from it: we build relationships that resonate by—listening deeper and climbing into someone’s world, so we can see their situation, hear their concerns, feel their pain, rejoice in their blessings, and celebrate their success.
Naturally, this got me thinking about my grandfather. He died when I was young, so my memories are minimal. Yet, I remember one of his traditions. He came over to visit us every Friday night. In his right hand, he carried his wooden cane—with the rubber tip. In his left, a large glass bottle of grape juice—a delicacy to six thirsty grandkids.
We would watch 77 Sunset Strip together, a popular detective show of the 60s. After the program, we would gather around him—complete with grape mustaches—talk with him, and play with his cane. He was missing half of his index finger on his right hand from an industrial accident. He would stick it in his ear and make a funny face. To us, it looked like he touched his brain. It provoked the desire effect—laughing grandkids surrounding his throne.
Every Friday, I remember the anticipation of him shuffling through the front door. The image remains permanently etched in my mind.
And whatever happened to his wooden cane? As I write this newsletter, I set it next to my front door (photo above). Why have I kept this relic for over 60 years? To remind me of an admirable man—a simpler time—and the magic that still resonates in irreplaceable relationships.
(And yes, the cane still has the original rubber tip.)
###
SOMETHING TO CHEW ON: What is it about your relationship with your grandparents, or your grandchildren, that makes it magical? What can you glean from these relationships that you might apply to other relationships to make them resonate?
###
SPECIAL NOTE: I'm happy to announce I will be having a BOOK SIGNING on Saturday, November 6th from 10:00 AM - 1:00 PM at ARISE Christian Book store in Racine at 4003 Durand Avenue, Suite 5A (Adjacent to Piggly Wiggly.) Get a signed copy of The Glimpse, a story of forgiveness and reconciliation between a father and son, and his love interest. The Glimpse was recently a semi-finalist in a book contest. Please mark your calendars and join me in two weeks.
Dr. Robert Gullberg, (Infectious Disease Specialist at Ascension) will also be signing his books. Dr. Gullberg has a host of books including, Famous People and the Germs that Harmed Them. (Includes a special chapter on Covid.)
