The Desert Between Us (Sneak Peek at my New Novel)
This is the 50th issue of my PAUSE MORE. RUSH LESS. newsletter. As you know, this newsletter is dedicated to encouraging you to slow down your life—to pause—so you can celebrate the things that matter most in life. From time to time, I update you on my latest project as an author.
To celebrate this 50th issue, I would like to share a sneak peek from a scene in my new novel, The Desert Between Us. First, here is a brief background so you understand the context.
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Central Theme: Love after loss/victory over grief.
Premise: If you lose the love of your life, can you ever love again? To the same depth? The main character, Chase Kincaid, 37, struggles with the questions we all would wrestle with if we lost our spouse—our soulmate. Can you ever love the same again? As deep? As passionate? As unconditional? Can you ever be as committed? As transparent? As natural? Or will you always “hold something in reserve” for the one lost?
Two years after the loss of his wife, Chase struggles to bring closure to his loss and keeps a journal of his thoughts to help him heal. One night after he puts his eight-year-old son, Clay, to bed, his thoughts drift to his wife, Aimee—the only woman he ever loved—and he begins to write.
SPECIAL NOTE: At the end of this journal entry below, I briefly answer three questions you may not want to miss.
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The Desert Between Us
An Excerpt
Chase turned off the lights in the house except the light in his office. He sat on the couch, grabbed his leather-bound journal, opened it, and stared at the blank page. It was his custom to write in his journal before turning in. Closing his eyes, he wondered where his thoughts would guide him tonight.
A tear escaped and ran down his cheek, landing on the empty page. Many evenings he sat here and never scratched out a syllable. The words had refused to come. Tonight, would be different. When he opened his eyes, he exhaled, and poured his heart on the page:
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Is anyone ever the same after they lose someone they love?
I mean, really the same?
People die—but grief doesn’t. It fades, but it lies in wait to strike when you least expect it—when you’re driving down the road, making an important presentation, taking a shower, or drifting off to sleep. You never see it coming.
It’s been just shy of two years since we lost Aimee. I’ve missed her terribly on her birthdays, Thanksgiving, and of course, Christmas. Yet, hardest of all has been the emptiness Clay and I feel on his birthday—a boy should never be without his mom on his birthday.
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Love has become a mystery to me, especially the second time around. True love doesn’t seem elusive the first time because, well, we find it so naturally. Aimee was standing across from me in the produce aisle squeezing an avocado. A chance meeting. A clever line. Some quick chemistry. A flirtatious moment. A first date. A second date. A relationship. Then, somewhere down the road I popped the question and started spending my life with my best friend.
But what do you do if fate ruthlessly separates you forever? It’s a question I may ask myself the rest of my life. Why is it so difficult for me to even consider loving again? Why do I struggle with feelings of betrayal at the mere thought? Just how do I love again? In the same way? To similar depth? Is it possible to achieve the same connection or to be as compatible?
Nothing seems to come easy the second time around. Jack challenged me to give online dating a fair shot. It didn’t work. At least, not for me. Chance meetings were replaced with internet profiles. Casual conversations were swapped with lame blind dates. No clever lines. No chemistry. And no ripe avocados. Just contrived smiles, clumsy conversations, and lukewarm romance.
I’ve learned that loving someone the second time around—really loving them—and having them love you in return is not a guarantee—it’s a gift.
I’ve often wondered why some couples seem to love each other with all their heart and soul, and find a way to see life through the same lens—while others drift aimlessly in uncharted waters.
As a young man I never thought I would ponder such things. Yet, I do. The reason is simple, I guess. I’ve loved a woman, one woman, with all my heart, married her, and suddenly lost her for eternity. And that leaves me with two questions about love I must answer if I’m going to reclaim my life—and find victory.
If I believe Aimee was the only one for me, can I love once more? Or will I secretly and inevitably, always hold something in reserve for her, the woman I gave my heart to—first?
This I must know if, unlike my father, I’m going to grant myself permission to love again.
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Here are three questions you might be asking:
Why do you want to write this story, have you suffered a similar loss?
I want to write this story because it's personal to me. My father lost my mother prematurely and he raised six children alone, ages 4 to 14. I was eleven. I’ve experienced how the son in this story feels and will share those feelings through this eight-year-old character. My father also lived through the theme of this novel: Can you ever love again? I also wanted to write a story about something that plagues us all--grief. I've attempted to write a story to help us overcome grief and live a fulfilling life.
Why the title, The Desert Between Us?
The original title was more direct. It was: To Love Again. Through the process of writing this novel, I learned that before two people find each other after each suffering a devastating loss, they must first cross an “emotional desert.” This desert is a dry, barren, wasteland. A “wasteland of loneliness.” They journey through it alone, with the desert between them, until they find each other.
When will this new novel be completed?
Honestly, I’m not quite sure but I can say it’s half-finished and then must be edited. I love where it’s going. It contains some powerful dialogue. (I know this because of how emotional I felt writing it.) I hope you agree. Typical of my writing, it’s reflective—but there are poignant moments of inspiration. It’s a compelling story of overcoming grief and discovering a victorious road forward.
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Photo by Ashim D’Silva on Unsplash.com.
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